Make not slow

[BigSpaceships]

What

Improves various logic to speed up loading conditional, especially dashboard

On CSH ethernet
Before: 6.3 seconds
After: 1.4 seconds

On VPN to my home in state college PA (central)
Before: 6.5 seconds
After: 1.5 seconds

(After I thought about this, not sure if the vpn test is doing what I want because I would've thought that I couldn't reach the db since I wouldn't have been on cshnet but idk)

Spring evals page
Before: 35 seconds
After: 1.3 seconds 🎉

Note: I want to profile these on OKD at some point but I have to figure out how to

Why

Conditional was painfully slow to load before, especially when loading a fresh instance, also on okd spring evals was 504ing

Test Plan

Compared all the various stats on dashboard with both spring and fall semester data
What I checked:

• Active member count
• Voting member count
  • Actually these are different but this is due to Gatekeep check doesn't actually check for house meeting attendance #455
  • If the constitution is interpreted as you have to attend 6 meetings and excused doesn't count this is implemented right
  • If not, then it's a one line change
• All evals data
• Committee data
• Housing queue site (/housing)

Env Vars

nope

Checklist

• Tested all changes locally

[costowell]

Huge, ship it

[costowell]

I feel like if this is worth documenting, its worth having an environment variable to enable it.

[BigSpaceships]

that's so true
i'll do that