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build the bundled onetbb as a shared library on windows (#274) #278

Job	Run time
downstream (windows-11-arm, release)	5m 41s
ubuntu-latest (release)	3m 31s
downstream (windows-latest, release)	3m 34s
downstream (windows-latest, 4.2)	4m 47s
windows-11-arm (release)	8m 56s
macOS-latest (release)	3m 4s
ubuntu-24.04-arm (release)	2m 47s
windows-latest (release)	6m 52s
windows-latest (4.2)	8m 4s
	47m 16s